I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
