Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
