Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
