You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
