we were pretty classy up until the second keg
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
