Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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