hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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