Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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