There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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