she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
