It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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