Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
