So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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