your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize