Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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