that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
