I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
