yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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