i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
