the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
