someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
