We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
