dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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