so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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