So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
