I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
