Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
