I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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