If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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