I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
