You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
