He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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