I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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