So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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