Welp...herpes.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize