he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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