and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we're so committed to being not committed
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