8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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