this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
