..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
