i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
