Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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