So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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