True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
