One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
