She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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