when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
