me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your penis caused this!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
