Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
