he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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