he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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