The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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