Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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