He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize