It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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