WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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