dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
