The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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