wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
