3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
