hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The air taste purple.
Randomize