Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
